Loved But Not In Love
by darkraven1990
Summary: George finds out that Yukari is marring Hiro what will he do? Will he try to get back the girl he loves? Will Yukari let him?
1. Chapter 1 - The Announcement

Chapter One – The announcement

The day that Hiroyuki Tokumori proposed to Yukari Hayasaka and she said yes was a joyful day for everyone in their acquaintance. Yukari's mother was ecstatic that her only daughter had snagged a successful doctor for a husband and her father was happy because his wife was. Miwako and Arashi were both overjoyed that their best friends had found happiness. Everyone raved about how perfect their romance was, from a first crush to true love they were truly meant to be together. Yukari and Hiro however, knew differently. Yes they loved each other but it wasn't true love both had lost the people they loved the most but together they were happy and that was what mattered. Of course neither would admit this to the other.

George Koizumi was sat in the bright light of his Parisian Studio working on his latest designs. His blue eyes were trained on the paper in front of him where he could let his creativity flow with ease. His trance like state was interrupted by Isabella bustling in and proclaiming that it was well past lunch time and that he should come down for something to eat. George's cross dressing companion hadn't dulled in the slightest since their move to Paris all those years ago, today she seemed to be re-embracing her Japanese heritage by wearing a brightly coloured silk Kimono.

George reluctantly dragged himself away from the desk and down the stairs to the living area where Isabella had already laid out a delicious looking meal for the two of them. George didn't know what he would have done without Isabella around to look out for him, he tended to throw himself so fully into his work that he would barely eat or sleep until he was reminded to do so. It had paid off however, his career as a designer was a huge success and he hadn't had to compromise his visions like others had told him he would. Koizumi designs had become hugely popular for their unique style and intricate craftsmanship.

Sitting across from his friend they both began to dig into the meal, George had forgotten how hungry he was until then. There was little talk between the two of them except for the usual updates about the progress of the collection and the appointments that they had to attend to. Once they were both finished with their food Isabella got up and began to clear away the plates. George took this opportunity to try and get back upstairs before Isabella made him get some rest but she caught him without even turning around.

"I got an interesting phone call this morning." George paused with his foot halfway up the step, he turned to regard his friends back. There was something in her voice that put George on edge, quirking an eyebrow and turning back to the table he motioned for Isabella to continue. She seemed rather hesitant however, keeping her back to him as she washed the plates.

"Was it from a client?" George waited for the answer with baited breath but put on the outward appearance of being perfectly at ease.

"No it wasn't a client, it was Carrie." Carrie, Caroline… Yukari. George's heart beat slightly faster thinking about the girl who he had left behind, the only girl he had ever wanted to come with him to live his dream. It had been a long time since he had seen or spoken to Yukari, nine long years but he'd made sure to get every magazine she had ever been featured in. Her career had been just as much of a success as his own, she'd made the right choice but he still wondered what it would of been like if she'd come to Paris with him.

"Is she…alright?" Georges voice had a slight edge to it when he spoke, betraying the calm way that he leaned against the wall and watched Isabella for her answer, trying to see in her countenance what she could possibly have to tell him.

"Oh! Yes Carrie is very well George. She just had some news to share." Isabella finally turned to face and looked him straight in the eye as she imparted the news. "Hiroyuki proposed… and Carrie has accepted him. She's getting married in nine months time." George felt frozen, he must have misheard her there was just no way that Yukari would…would what? Move on after almost a decade of not seeing or hearing from him? Of course she would he was surprised it had taken her so long. She could be a strong woman but she wasn't a solitary creature he knew that more than most.

Isabella was looking at him worriedly. Why was she staring at him like that? Oh yes she must have waiting for him to say something…nothing came to mind except perhaps the urge to scream and break something.

"Give her my congratulations next time you speak to her." That would do that was a perfectly normal thing to say in a situation like that, it didn't betray his inner turmoil. Somehow it felt like she was even further away from him than ever before, she wouldn't be his Yukari anymore, she'd be wearing someone else's ring on her finger and belong to another man forever. It felt wrong, he'd never stopped thinking of her as his even though he knew it was selfish of him.

"Carrie said that we are both welcome to attend the wedding but she understands if we cannot for any reason. I'd like to go." She wanted him at her wedding? Was the woman mad? People didn't really do that did they, invite their ex's to their wedding. He had the image in his head of her walking down an aisle dressed in purest white, of her walking past him and into the arms of another man. George shook the thought away, painful as it was he took some small comfort that she wouldn't really be wearing white, after all he had seen to that.

"I'll probably be busy preparing for the summer collection but you're of course free to attend Isabella you can congratulate her in person for the both of us. Of course you'll have to take a suitable gift." That brought back memories of the other gifts he had given her all those years ago, what could he possibly give her now? He had given her everything of any importance. He saw her again a vision in a white dress and then he knew exactly what he could give her. George turned on his heel and began taking the steps up to his studio two at a time.

"George?!" he heard Isabella shout from below him but the door to his studio was already closing behind him. "Well that went about as well as I thought it would." Isabella muttered to herself and continued to clean up the dishes from their lunch. She knew that George still cared deeply for Caroline, if only he would admit it and do something about it then maybe everything would work out. She sighed if only things were that simple but George was never simple and if Caroline was happy then she had no right to try and ruin that even if it was for the happiness of her most beloved friend.

Upstairs George feverishly set to work on the most beautiful dress of his career, the first and last wedding dress that he would ever make.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Dress

Chapter 2 – The Dress

When Isabella turned up on Yukari's doorstep one morning in May to say she was shocked would be the understatement of the year. However the shock was soon replaced with overwhelming happiness, it had been so very long since they had seen each other. As the tears began to overflow Yukari pulled Isabella into a bone crushing embrace. She pulled back and invited her old friend inside but Isabella noticed the way that Yukari's eyes slipped past her, like she was looking for someone else to be there.

Once settled in the lounge with a hot cup of tea Yukari felt a bit more able to speak.

"I can't believe that you're here." Yukari stated happily. It was true it had been so long since she had seen her old friend, they spoke often either on the phone or through letters and email but it was completely different having her here in person. Isabella was such a comforting person in her life she knew that no matter what she would be there if she was needed, it was strange to think that she had become the sort of mother figure that Yukari had always wanted in her life. Isabella took a sip of her tea and gave Yukari a serene smile.

"I'm sorry I didn't call ahead but when I spoke to Miwako she didn't think that you had any plans this morning so I decided to just pop over."

"Oh Isabella don't be silly, you know you're always welcome here. How is Paris?"

Yukari and Isabella spent the next hour or so just catching up on life, it was obvious from the way that she spoke that Isabella was very happy with her life. She loved Paris, the couture houses and the fashion and the city itself but she did miss Japan terribly it would always be home to Isabella. Isabella was shocked when Yukari told her that she was retiring from modelling before the wedding.

"But why?!" was all that Isabella could say. Yukari laughed ruefully and shook her head a little sadly.

"I've had an amazing career Isabella but I'm 29 almost 30 now, I'm getting old for a model. Modelling work is slowing down and I'd like to retire from it gracefully not bitterly as some do." Isabella could understand that but she was still shocked.

"But Caroline what will you do once you've retired? Surely you won't be content to sit around here as a housewife."

"I'm not sure what I'll do yet, I might carry on with some of the TV work I've been doing and Shimamoto-san has offered me a position in her agency helping to train new models. I might go and do something completely different."

"But modelling was your dream Caroline, you worked so hard and gave up so much to do it." Yukari's face took on a far off look, like she was remembering those far away days when they all met. She shook her head slightly to clear the cobwebs but a shadow remained in her eyes.

"Modelling was my dream and I haven't forgotten any of my journey here but I've achieved my dream Isabella, I have to live in the reality that modelling is not a long career but I'm proud that I have had a longer one than most and for a while I was the best and most sought after model in Japan. That's enough for me Isabella I won't have my dream tainted at the end."

Isabella sighed, Caroline had always been stubborn it's how she had made it this far once she was decided there was no changing her mind. She could also understand if she were ever to retire she would want to go out on a high, to not have any regrets.

"I suppose I should get to my reason for visiting Carrie."

"I thought you had work or something and just decided to pop by for a catch up."

"Well I suppose it is work related but I actually came to give you something." Isabella stood and went to the suitcase that she had left in the hallway. Yukari watched curiously as she brought out a rather large ice blue box and then her heart stopped. She recognised that packaging, lots of models in Japan went absolutely wild for the clothes they contained, Koizumi designs. She reached out for the box with shaking hands, how long had it been since he'd made a dress for her? She still wore his clothes on special occasions, not when she was out with Hiro but if she had a party or something to go to with her work colleagues she always wore his clothes. Hands still shaking she traced the elegant script on the lid of the box announcing the designer and the tiny little butterfly that looked as if it had been added by hand afterwards.

Yukari looked up at Isabella, unsure of exactly what she was feeling but there must have been a question in her eyes because Isabella explained.

"George sends his congratulations and asked me to personally deliver his wedding present to you." Mouth dry, Yukari just nodded before her gaze once again fell on the box in her lap. Taking a deep breath she moved her fingers to the lid of the box and eased it open. Pulling back the tissue paper what she saw was the most beautiful dress she had ever laid eyes on. It had a sweetheart neckline and cap sleeves made of lace just a slight shade off of white. The whole of the bodice was covered with a repeating pattern of butterflies stitched with tiny pearls. Yukari ran her hands reverently over the design, feeling the quality of the lace and silk that made it. Gingerly she set the box down on the sofa and stood to pull the rest of the gown from the box, the skirt unfolded to reveal a full princess style skirt with a long train at the back, again the butterfly motif was sewn onto the bottom hem of the dress and the pearls glinted in the sunlight from the window.

All Yukari could do was stare at the dress in her hands. She'd been searching for months for the perfect wedding dress, had meetings with countless designers but nothing ever seemed quite right she just couldn't picture her dress at all, but here it was in her hands. The perfect dress was right here in front her. George had managed to make it without even speaking to her in almost a decade. She felt tears welling up in her eyes as she looked at the dress.

"Would you like me to help you try it on?" Yukari had almost forgotten that Isabella was there until she spoke, so wrapped up in the dress and what it meant for her. Unable to speak she just nodded her head and lead Isabella upstairs to her bedroom and into the large dressing room that adjoined it. Isabella looked around the room full of clothes and noticed that all of the clothes George had left Yukari were here, the black dress from her welcome party and their competition dress stood proudly on dress forms of either side of a small chair. The shelf above them kept the sign for Paradise Kiss and all the photos of them together that Yukari had kept, even the photo of her and George together at the welcome party and the one of them modelling together. Isabella wondered what Hiroyuki thought of Yukari keeping photos of her ex in a room full of his clothes, in her house over a decade later.

While Isabella had been examining her Paradise Kiss collection, Yukari had already begun stripping out of her clothes. She moved to the wedding dress where Yukari had laid it out on a chair and began to slip the buttons from their holes on the back of the dress. Carefully lifting the dress she walked over to where Yukari was and helped her into it. When they were done Isabella carefully twisted Yukari's long black hair back into a rough bun and then let her walk over to the floor length mirror.

Staring into the mirror Yukari wondered just how George managed to do it, the dress fit her perfectly. It clung to every curve, showed all of her features to the best advantage. It was perfect in every way except one, perhaps the most important one of all. She could picture her wedding so clearly now, stood here in this dress but the groom stood beside her wasn't Hiro. She didn't even realise that there were tears flowing down her cheeks until Isabella was beside her dabbing them away with a handkerchief. She smiled at Isabella through her tears.

"It's my dream dress. It's perfect."

Isabella smiled back at her but she could see that Yukari was holding something back, that the tears weren't of happiness at being made the perfect dress.

"You look beautiful Carrie."

"I should change…You never know when Hiro will come home early." Isabella nodded and once more helped Yukari out of her dress. She expertly folded it and put it away in the box while her friend got redressed. When they rejoined each other in the lounge Yukari's eyes were dry and she seemed to have recovered herself a bit. Isabella decided that maybe her friend could do with some time to process everything.

"I should go, I'd like to see Miwako and Arashi before I fly back tomorrow."

"You fly back tomorrow? Why so soon? I was hoping we could spend more time together." Yukari was saddened by the loss of her friend again so soon after seeing her once more.

"I'm afraid so Carrie, George cannot spare me for longer we have a big collection due out soon. Besides if I am not there he'll just work himself into exhaustion." Yukari smiled, she could very well imagine it. "The three of us were going to go for dinner later perhaps you and Hiroyuki would like to join us?"

"Of course Isabella. We'd love to." Isabella stood from her seat and smiled widely.

"I will get Miwako to call you later to arrange dinner."

Yukari stood up as well.

"Alright I suppose I shall see you later then Isabella." Isabella collected her bag from the hallway and walked to the front door. Opening it she strode out into the bright sunlight and waved goodbye to her friend making her way down the drive. Yukari closed the door once her friend was out of sight and went back inside.

For a long time she simply sat and stared into space, barely focusing on anything. Eventually she realised that she was crying, how was it fair she wondered. How was it fair that even after all this George could still turn her whole life upside down? She hadn't even seen him just the dress, his dress. It was so beautiful, perfect. It was everything she could have ever wanted but she couldn't wear it. She couldn't wear that dress and walk down the aisle to marry Hiro.

That was the easy decision though. The hardest one was yet to come. Could she walk down the aisle and marry Hiro at all? She dropped her head into her hands and tried to forget everything that had happened today. Until this morning she and Hiro had been perfectly happy, they were getting married and she was going to have that perfect life she had always wanted. But it wasn't perfect, nothing was perfect except George's dresses. She'd given up on that girlish dream or at least she thought she had.

She looked up at the clock. Hiro would be home soon she should call him and ask about dinner. Maybe just talking to him would help. Maybe just his voice would help chase away the phantom sound of Georges. Maybe it would let her know that she was doing the right thing. She took a deep breath and reached for her phone.

_**AN:- Hello everyone I don't usually write these but I just wanted to apologise for taking so long to write this next chapter. I'm afraid that my little girl decided to arrive a bit earlier than planned and life has been non-stop ever since! Sorry I needed sleep more than I needed to write. Now that I'm into the swing of things a bit more and she can entertain herself… a little I've found a bit more time. I hope you liked it and I'll try to start work on the next chapter soon but I can't make any promises as to when it'll arrive. **_

_**Again thanks for reading and for your patience. **_


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